AI and the elf on a shelf

I might be 51 years old, but I still remember the early Christmas morning emotions of sickening excitement and crushing disappointment. The promise of that shiny toy — in my day it was the first ever hand-held gaming machine — created intense feelings. Then, once I’d dizzily unwrapped it and got it in my hand, screeching “HE REMEMBERED!”, I thought I’d pass out. Hours later, I realised I loved doing wheelies on my old mud-encrusted BMX more. I put down the handheld, played out with my friends, and forgot about santa for another year. Kids, little humans, learn to be fickle at an early age. Do they ever grow out of it?

Back in the house, the AI wrapping paper is being shoved into a black bag. The tired parents see the expensive toy discarded on the floor and think “Ungrateful little shit”.

“He was going mad about this, and now he’s not even bothered!” cries mum. Dad, takes a suck on his pipe, and blows out a chimney of blue, sweet-smelling smoke, “He’s just over excited. Getting on his bike let’s him get rid of the energy. Remember, the hand-held is new to him too. He’ll come around.”

Dad was right. A month later? The kid wouldn’t let go of the hand-held. The bike was rusting in the back yard.